He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
