Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
