She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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