Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just invented taco cereal.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
