i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
