Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
