Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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