so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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