Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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