Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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