Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
