he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
