new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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