and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
