So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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