wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
