You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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