Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
