Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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