Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
