Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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