those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
