Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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