literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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