Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
