I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
