She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
