I'm gonna have a badass scar
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
