Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
