I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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