if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
