Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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