I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
