Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
