Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
