I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
