i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
