but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
