Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
