dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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