I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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