"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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