All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
