You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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