I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
