Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
