Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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