im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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