Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
