Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
