I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
