OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
