DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I could fuck to npr.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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